dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
you had me at cake vodka
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I have aggressive nipples.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
