There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
