no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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