This is not my ceiling
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
