Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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