Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize