I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
