We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
