well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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