Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
so let's talk penis.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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