I can't watch pbs sober anymore
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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