I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
