In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
