he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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