we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
