now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
