Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
