Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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