when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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