If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
