Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
