If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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