I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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