so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
