i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
A+ Viking dick
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
