Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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