new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
