There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize