He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
