i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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