i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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