Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
