Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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