Dual....:-)
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
