dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
