her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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