It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
