Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
