every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
