If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
