I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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