what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
