the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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