shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
