Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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