Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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