Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
