Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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