so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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