got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
This toilet bowl is my home.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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