dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Semen is not good for contacts.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
