Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
