did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
