I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize