I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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