Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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