Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
