one might say we're banned from that church
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
