I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
it's like heaven, but drunker
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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