I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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