therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize