i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize