i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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